“I will always find you..”

Lately, I’ve been feeling disconnected from God. Whether it’s the sleep deprivation, the hours on the bus/train, the hours learning and studying, I find myself continuously feeling spiritually empty. For a couple of weeks at a time I didn’t go to my church, didn’t attend my women’s bible study group, and I avoided any contact with people who would remind me of my disconnection from God.

That sounds very upsetting, believe me, I know. I felt guilty not putting God before everything in my life. I know that if I actually took the time to make Him my priority, my issues would not have overtaken my decisions and attitudes. And even though I knew that it was important to put God above all else, I couldn’t find myself to do it. I didn’t know how.

I am a ‘Once Upon a Time’ fan. I am not quite caught up with the season that is airing but I am still a fan. What I always find the most beautiful and inspiring within the seasons is the relationship of Prince Charming and Snow White. They are two characters that end up falling in love, TRUE LOVE, and devote themselves to each other. But because their love is powerful, people jealous of this love try their hardest to separate the two. And each time that both Prince Charming and Snow White get separated they tell each other,

“I will always find you.”

The awesome thing about Prince Charming and Snow White, is that they do always find one another. But that right there is in it and of itself a very powerful sentence. It’s implying dedication, love, loyalty, everything and anything that represents the relationship we have with God.

The thing is, yes, I have felt disconnected, but not once have I felt as though He wasn’t there. I knew He was, I just wasn’t making the effort. Each and every time that I drifted from His path, He would find me and would guide me back towards Him. I was just so afraid, and sometimes still am now to seek Him once I know I have wronged Him.

1 Corinthians 16:23 (The Message) reads,

 Our Master Jesus has his arms wide open for you.

Jesus is our shepherd. For Him, it does not matter how many times we drift. Each and every time, He will seek us as we should be seeking Him in our daily lives; always believing and relying that God will find us.

God gives unconditional love

I got a dog. Not recently. I have had her for several weeks now. Perhaps a little over a month. Her name is Bibi. She is a lot to handle. But truly a wonderful dog. It’s kinda like raising another human being though. Granted, for the rest of Bibi’s life I will continue to feed her, bathe her and pick her poop up but the similarities are all there.

In the beginning, there would be sleepless nights as I, the owner, and the pup began to grow a relationship. For the first week, I had to sleep next to her as she grew accustomed to the new house and to the new faces that would quickly become her family. By the second week we had given her a couple of beds (yes, a couple. For each floor of the house.), several toys, and introduced her to canned dog food. Third week came around and she got a couple of collars, a leash, dog treats and doggy poop bags. We even got her wee wee pads that we spread all over the floor which is like a big NO NO. The most recent thing that we have done for Bibi is build her a dog house for the outside. And yes, I said build. My dad spent a couple of days working on that and then my siblings and I painted it. We placed a pillow inside and VOILA!

That’s the thing. In several people’s eyes, they will read the previous paragraph and claim that I spoil her. Will I agree? Of course. How can I deny that I do not spoil her if I am basically giving her the world. I already regret that I let her lay on my bed. Now each time she sees me on it, she wants to jump on. I regret covering her each night because now she expects me to before she goes to bed and will not sleep until I do.

Being a dog owner, it is trial and error. Just like it is being a parent and basically anything else in this world. Because no matter how many books are out on the shelves of bestseller, I bet none of them will be the exact same experience as everyone. There is no universal remote or training when it comes down to it. And if by some miracle such thing exists, then I would not care. I am enjoying every minute of being a dog owner. It is the way she sleeps, the way she greets us when my family and I get home, the way she jumps as if she is a deer or a bunny. It is coming home to a house where the dog expects you home and gives and receives unconditional love.

Why am I blabbering about my dog?

Because I see my spiritual faith growing as I spend more time with my pup. This summer, for me, has been hectic. With one job and then one internship and then getting ready to be a commuter in college. It is hard. It seems crazy to find time for God. The person that you truly should be setting time aside for. But with my pup I do. I appreciate what I do and learn at the job and in my internship but with my puppy I can feel at ease and loved because my puppy does not see failure, my pup does not see sin. My pup sees me and loves me. How can I not see where God is in my life?

I must admit, it is a weird analogy. Comparing my puppy to the Creator of the world. But that is where I am in life. Each morning I wake to take her out to the backyard. And when I do, I sit there and hear the neighborhood awaken. I enjoy moments like this as I talk to God in the cool brisk morning air. It is kind of like God sent Bibi my way as a sort of presence of His. Whenever I need a reminder of Him, I lay next to Bibi only to get wet kisses by her. She gives me the energy and the smile I need. She requires the same amount of attention and love as does God. My path to being a dog owner is not perfect, much less my path to stay righteous in God. But it is having faith and loving every minute to strive for better not for me but for my puppy, for my God. But also understanding that no matter what, my puppy Bibi and my God, will continuously give us unconditional love.

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