Lately, I’ve been feeling disconnected from God. Whether it’s the sleep deprivation, the hours on the bus/train, the hours learning and studying, I find myself continuously feeling spiritually empty. For a couple of weeks at a time I didn’t go to my church, didn’t attend my women’s bible study group, and I avoided any contact with people who would remind me of my disconnection from God.
That sounds very upsetting, believe me, I know. I felt guilty not putting God before everything in my life. I know that if I actually took the time to make Him my priority, my issues would not have overtaken my decisions and attitudes. And even though I knew that it was important to put God above all else, I couldn’t find myself to do it. I didn’t know how.
I am a ‘Once Upon a Time’ fan. I am not quite caught up with the season that is airing but I am still a fan. What I always find the most beautiful and inspiring within the seasons is the relationship of Prince Charming and Snow White. They are two characters that end up falling in love, TRUE LOVE, and devote themselves to each other. But because their love is powerful, people jealous of this love try their hardest to separate the two. And each time that both Prince Charming and Snow White get separated they tell each other,
“I will always find you.”
The awesome thing about Prince Charming and Snow White, is that they do always find one another. But that right there is in it and of itself a very powerful sentence. It’s implying dedication, love, loyalty, everything and anything that represents the relationship we have with God.
The thing is, yes, I have felt disconnected, but not once have I felt as though He wasn’t there. I knew He was, I just wasn’t making the effort. Each and every time that I drifted from His path, He would find me and would guide me back towards Him. I was just so afraid, and sometimes still am now to seek Him once I know I have wronged Him.
1 Corinthians 16:23 (The Message) reads,
Our Master Jesus has his arms wide open for you.
Jesus is our shepherd. For Him, it does not matter how many times we drift. Each and every time, He will seek us as we should be seeking Him in our daily lives; always believing and relying that God will find us.