Never will you nor I be alone

When I had the idea of first refocusing my blog, I was very excited to start writing. But it really never occurred to me how difficult it would be to write creatively. I’ve written several drafts of posts I wanted to publish, saved some, and discarded many. But just as I had written in the last post, my only intention is to write truth.

This blog isn’t a “How to survive life” blog. In fact it is opposite of that. I’m not telling you guys how to live your life and avoid the heartaches. I want you guys to go through these heartaches so that you may learn from them just as I am learning to overcome them. With this blog, I’m telling a story, my story, to anyone that is willing to listen. The purpose behind telling my story is in hopes that you will not feel alone.

The scariest part in life is believing that we are walking in this Earth alone. I struggle with understanding it. With the feeling of solitude, I become desperate for attention. I get physically and emotionally sick when thoughts like this seep into my mind. At some point in my life, I picked up the Bible and began to read the book of Genesis. A verse in particular stuck out in a moment of disparity and has thus helped me in times when I feel most alone.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 1:18 (NIV)

God never intended for us to live alone. He wanted us to be in communion with one another. With this intention, He created woman after man. God had provided knowing that we could not live life alone. He gave us friends, leaders, and family. God even sent His own son to live among us, to know us, and to be us. He was 100% human as He is 100% God. With people in our lives, they make us into better and healthier human beings. Because they challenge us and keeps us accountable to the promises, hopes and dreams that we have.

This verse was just the beginning to the new world that I was being exposed to through God. . I began to understand that there are people like me and people like you going through the same situations. And maybe our reactions to these situations are different but it still does not veer away from what we felt, are feeling and are bound to feel. I found a place where I was no longer and will never be alone.

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Finding a religious community where I belong

My family is catholic. When I was younger, I remember dressing up each Sunday in preparation for mass. Once I grew old enough, I started attending CCD, or Sunday church school as I described it. When I reached middle school until the beginning of my high school career, I became one of the first girl alter servers in the church. By my actions, I always appeared to be concrete in my religious faith. But I did not feel as certain in my faith as other people thought I was.

As a kid, I could not remember much about what the priest said. Mass, for me, was a time where I can catch a nap. When I began CCD, it was just another class that I needed to exceed in. And when I became an alter server, I could only think about the service hours I would earn.  It wasn’t until I began to attend high school and stopped serving during mass that I understood the importance of religion.

By the end of my freshmen year in high school, I became a part of YoungLife, a non Christian youth group lead by Christians. They taught me the importance of being loved by a greater being despite the wrong paths that I walked on. Once I became a member of YoungLife, I was no longer satisfied with Catholicism. I sought more beyond what my catholic church had to offer. There is nothing wrong with being catholic, but as I progressed through high school, my interests became different. I wanted a place that did not judge me for my wrong doing.

I became eager to join a bigger community that felt the same as I. I attended the church that hosted YoungLife’s bible study. I attended a baptist church near north side. I attended another church near south side. Then finally I attended a church, that I did not now existed, ten minutes away from my house, and I felt at home.

That sense of belonging is so difficult to find. Mostly walking into the church feeling as an outsider, feeling alone. Sitting down, I tried to busy myself on my phone. But within minutes, people poured into the church and welcomed me greatly. I shook hands with what seemed like many and conversed with them until the beginning of service. As the service went on, I had quickly felt in community with them.

After what seemed like a long time searching, I had found the place that I had dreamed about. Building relationships with people that I would become friends with. Finding a religious community where I belong.