“I will always find you..”

Lately, I’ve been feeling disconnected from God. Whether it’s the sleep deprivation, the hours on the bus/train, the hours learning and studying, I find myself continuously feeling spiritually empty. For a couple of weeks at a time I didn’t go to my church, didn’t attend my women’s bible study group, and I avoided any contact with people who would remind me of my disconnection from God.

That sounds very upsetting, believe me, I know. I felt guilty not putting God before everything in my life. I know that if I actually took the time to make Him my priority, my issues would not have overtaken my decisions and attitudes. And even though I knew that it was important to put God above all else, I couldn’t find myself to do it. I didn’t know how.

I am a ‘Once Upon a Time’ fan. I am not quite caught up with the season that is airing but I am still a fan. What I always find the most beautiful and inspiring within the seasons is the relationship of Prince Charming and Snow White. They are two characters that end up falling in love, TRUE LOVE, and devote themselves to each other. But because their love is powerful, people jealous of this love try their hardest to separate the two. And each time that both Prince Charming and Snow White get separated they tell each other,

“I will always find you.”

The awesome thing about Prince Charming and Snow White, is that they do always find one another. But that right there is in it and of itself a very powerful sentence. It’s implying dedication, love, loyalty, everything and anything that represents the relationship we have with God.

The thing is, yes, I have felt disconnected, but not once have I felt as though He wasn’t there. I knew He was, I just wasn’t making the effort. Each and every time that I drifted from His path, He would find me and would guide me back towards Him. I was just so afraid, and sometimes still am now to seek Him once I know I have wronged Him.

1 Corinthians 16:23 (The Message) reads,

 Our Master Jesus has his arms wide open for you.

Jesus is our shepherd. For Him, it does not matter how many times we drift. Each and every time, He will seek us as we should be seeking Him in our daily lives; always believing and relying that God will find us.

Never will you nor I be alone

When I had the idea of first refocusing my blog, I was very excited to start writing. But it really never occurred to me how difficult it would be to write creatively. I’ve written several drafts of posts I wanted to publish, saved some, and discarded many. But just as I had written in the last post, my only intention is to write truth.

This blog isn’t a “How to survive life” blog. In fact it is opposite of that. I’m not telling you guys how to live your life and avoid the heartaches. I want you guys to go through these heartaches so that you may learn from them just as I am learning to overcome them. With this blog, I’m telling a story, my story, to anyone that is willing to listen. The purpose behind telling my story is in hopes that you will not feel alone.

The scariest part in life is believing that we are walking in this Earth alone. I struggle with understanding it. With the feeling of solitude, I become desperate for attention. I get physically and emotionally sick when thoughts like this seep into my mind. At some point in my life, I picked up the Bible and began to read the book of Genesis. A verse in particular stuck out in a moment of disparity and has thus helped me in times when I feel most alone.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 1:18 (NIV)

God never intended for us to live alone. He wanted us to be in communion with one another. With this intention, He created woman after man. God had provided knowing that we could not live life alone. He gave us friends, leaders, and family. God even sent His own son to live among us, to know us, and to be us. He was 100% human as He is 100% God. With people in our lives, they make us into better and healthier human beings. Because they challenge us and keeps us accountable to the promises, hopes and dreams that we have.

This verse was just the beginning to the new world that I was being exposed to through God. . I began to understand that there are people like me and people like you going through the same situations. And maybe our reactions to these situations are different but it still does not veer away from what we felt, are feeling and are bound to feel. I found a place where I was no longer and will never be alone.